Monday, January 12, 2015

Crud 2015

Over the past month, everyone I know has been sick with either a stomach virus or the flu or both.  I have had this eerie, hunted feeling.  Like a virus was out there, stalking me; lurking on the shopping cart handle that Ana licked, creeping across the rim of the abandoned McDonald's cup in the parking lot that Elle seized before I could stop her, writhing across the surface of the wad of gum discovered under the cafe table, splattered in the sneeze droplets adorning my glasses.  In other words, it was just a matter of time until Index Patient Alpha surfaced.  The only question was: Who?

(By the way, If you are squeamish and prone to an over-active imagination, you might want to avoid reading vivid books on Ebola, such as The Hot Zone by Robert Preston.  On the other hand, if you want to read the true story that Steven King describes as "one of the most horrifying" things he had ever read, by all means, get this book!  You won't sleep for a week.)

Miss Elle is officially our Index Patient for Crud 2015.  It remains to be seen whether this will be a Level 4 outbreak such as last year's infamous Zombie Apocalypse Of Doom or if this will be a relatively benign virus.  Thank you to Miss Amanda for sending over her Doomsday kit.  It includes Sprite, Gatorade and crackers, disposable plates and forks, Lysol spray, latex gloves and, last but by no means least, two air filtration masks.  I'm telling you, she's more prepared for Ebola than the CDC!

 I hope you all have a happy and healthy week ahead.  If you don't hear from me for awhile it probably means I'm hip deep in the mommy trenches, mopping up vomit and soothing fevered brows.  It won't be as glamorous as a prime time Emergency Room drama, but I wouldn't miss it for the world.