Saturday, May 17, 2014

It's Been A Year

Guess what today is!

Not my birthday.

Wedding anniversary was last month.

Already had my bath for the week.  (wish I was joking . . .)

Give up?

Good, 'cuz you'll never guess.

Today, May 17th, is my one year blogiversary!!!

I have documented the ups and the downs, the good, the bad and the downright ridiculous for an entire year of my life. 

*It's been fun!

*It's been therapeutic!!

*I finally have an answer for when mom remarks, "You really should write all this down.  Some day you will regret not having these memories recorded." !!!

I don't have any fancy raffles or giveaways to celebrate with.  Shoot, I don't have any pictures up yet!  Fact is, the most important topic burning to get out of my mind and onto the world wide web at present is cold cereal.  More about that in a minute.  For right now I just want to say thank you to all my friends and family out there.  Thank you for loving me and praying me right through the past twelve months.  Thank you for supporting these rambling chicken scratches that represent what's going on in my head while I wash my teeth, brush my face and leave the salt out of the bread.  Thank you for leaving encouraging comments, they really help keep me going.

OK, the baby is nearly finished eating so I need to wrap this up.  I know you are all dying to know what I could possibly have to say about cold cereal.  Let me start by saying: It's awesome!!!  I love cereal!  You won't find any disparaging posts about Capt'n Crunch here.  Sure, it's pretty much all fake nutrition.  It's probably red dye number 40 and Roundup infused.  But hey, a little genetically modified corn syrup and GMO grains never killed anybody.  Or at least not many.  It tastes good and pirates eat it and that's all that counts.

Or not.  I do let my kids eat coco frosted sugar bombs.  But, I have a secret I will let you in on, only because it's my blogiversary.

Here goes. . .

Top Secret Cereal Mix

1 box of ridiculously bright colored, disgustingly sweet cereal (like Fruit Loops)
1 box of ridiculously boring cardboard flavored cereal (like Cheerios)

Pour both boxes into the largest mixing bowl you own.  Fold gently until mixed.  Pour the new and improved, healthier, cheaper, yummier cereal back into both boxes.  If you do this at the dark of the moon with the shades closed then no one will be the wiser.

Some of my favorite mixes are:

Store Brand Special K with strawberries and Bran flakes.  This would make pretty killer bran muffins methinks.

Frosted Mini Wheats, any flavor and Shredded Wheat.

Chocolate Pebbles and Grape Nuts or Rice Crispies

Chex and Life

That's it.  My Mommy Break just ran out.

Happy Saturday, y'all.    

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Can't-Find-My-Can-Opener Chili

I woke this morning with my mind racing.  There was so much to be done.  Places to go, things to do and people to see. 

First off, violin lessons at 10:30

Then lunch.

Pick up the smaller kids and my sister Joanna.

Drive to Muskogee.

Hang out with some BFF's.

Go home and fix dinner.

I had just about finished doing the dishes, mentally and was ready to take my victory lap in the tub when Rob burst into my daydream.

"Do you think it would be possible to pack everyone up and go the Creation Museum in Kentucky today?'

Creation Museum.



Why not?

While Robert checked the status of flights (we can fly standby because of his job with an airline) I started gathering the essentials: Cell phone, charger, Kindle, library book ...

We debated the merits of renting a van once arrived versus a taxi.  We checked the weather.  We plotted various courses to different airport hubs.  We prayed for wisdom.  We suddenly remembered that our church is observing The Lord's Supper this weekend and we probably wouldn;t be back in time.  We pulled the emergency brake.

The adrenaline rush slowly subsided.

Suddenly my previous plans for the day seemed simple and relaxed.

We did make it to violin lessons.  We met an amazing lady for lunch at Taco Bell.  We had an awesome time drinking homemade lattes with the girlfriends while the kids swarmed all over.

I made it home around 6:30.  Robert wound up working late so I wasn't too rushed about getting dinner by any particular time.  Oh sure, my blood sugar was plummeting since the latte and cookie high had worn off.  No worries, mates.  Our awesome baked potato and chili supper would be ready in about an hour.

Well, first off I scrubbed the potaoes, pierced them with a fork, anointed with corn oil and liberally salted the outsides.  Then I just tossed them into a 350 degree oven to bake for an hour while I nursed the ever voracious Ana-Bear.

My return to the kitchen was the first time I had actually attempted to locate any suitable meat for the chili in question. 

We only had one pound of frozen hamburger.  A little more digging revealed a lump of breakfast sausage and an icy bag of  pinto beans.  Jackpot!

I intended to make Dee's Award Winning Chili.  It would be tweaked here and there.  The sausage idea was a bit novel, but really, this should be snap to put together.

And it would have been a snap to put together if I only could have found my can opener.

To quote a famous line from Shakespeare: "A can opener, a can opener, my kingdom for a can opener!"

But alas and alack, such an implement was nary to be found. 

Or should I say a lass and a lack of the means to open vitally important cylinders of red pulpy material that bind unappealing lumps of congealing meat and lard into the glorious concoction known as "chili" is a tragedy worthy of sonnets.


It's 8:30 by now.  I have torn the house apart.  I have conducted level three interrogations of the usual suspects.  Nothing.

The baby is screaming.  I am screaming.  My sugar has bottomed out.  I have to eat.  NOW!!!!

Forget the dadgum can opener.  I ripped open the packets of chili and fajita mix, added one and a half cups of water and a bunch of ketchup.

It worked!  Not the award winning chili that I sometimes dream about.  But it was chili nonetheless.

I'm still looking for the can opener.  Ketchup has it's limits. 

Monday, May 12, 2014

It's Okay

I am tired.

Really tired.

Sick and tired of being tired.

Too tired to take any of the chirrupy advice found in my various and sundry "depression" and "encouragement" posts.

I know my attitude stinks.  I know I have behaved abominably to the people I love most.  I know I am not walking very close to God right now.

I don't know what's for dinner.  I don't know why Ana cries and projectile vomits like a Soviet warhead.  I don't know who attacked the couch cushions with preschool safety scissors. 

I am uncertain how, when or if I should proceed with potty training.  It is unclear what I should do about finishing up school.  I am undecided whether church camp is worth the effort this year.

But I am confident to my very core it is going to be okay.

He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.
Isaiah 40:11

This verse is getting taped to my mirror.

I don't know what I need to perk myself up.  A shower or bubble bath? Coffee or filtered water?  Chocolate or apples?  A day off or a day cleaning?  Valium or Vitamin D?  Exercise or a nap? 

I do know  that my Shepherd will lead me.  He's got this.  He cares about the weakest and most vulnerable.  One day, one hour, one breath at a time, He can show me what to do next.

I just have to ask.