Saturday, April 26, 2014

Normalcy

It's been a normal week around here.

Whatever.

I heard once that normal is just a setting my dryer.

I inspected both my dryer and washer today.  Actually, neither one has a "normal" setting.  It's possible that normal doesn't even exist.

Speaking of dryers,  I ran my dryer for nearly an entire cycle last week with absolutely nothing in it...

Here's a couple of other crazy normal things we've been up to . . .

*  After a normal shopping trip I learned the wisdom of not putting all your eggs in one basket.  Or at least not placing 3 dozen in one plastic bag.  One of the kids (who hates it when I talk about him, so he shall remain nameless) dropped the receptacle of my Easter sale treasures.  Right in the driveway.  I was inside nursing the baby, so I had no idea what had happened until his older brother ran in, eager to tell all about it.

 "Oh well," I philosophized.  "I can always scramble them or make an omelet.  It's an ill wind that blows no good."

 Evidently my young Vandal inherited my make-the-best of it genes.  He took the opportunity to thoroughly egg the well house . . .

*  I was rushing around on Saturday, making last minute preparations for Sunday dinner.  My pastor's family had requested I bring an apple pie.  I stood at the kitchen sink awhile, holding a dialogue with myself on the benefits of removing my ring or leaving it on while I worked with the pie crust.  Recalling the day I lost my brand new engagement ring was enough to convince me to leave my ring right where it belongs, on my finger.  I just about panicked when I looked down about an hour later at my ringless left hand.  The kitchen window sill was barren as well.  I prayed and searched for the next two hours, rehearsing how I was going to break the news to Rob when he returned with the boys from town.  It was with sinking heart that I sat down to the dinner table.  I deemed the straightforward approach to be best.

"I have something very important to say, haveanyofyouseenmyringit'smissingandI'velookedeverywhereandI'msoooosorryRobertwaaaaa"

Cy leapt to his feet with a very guilty look and fished my token of endless love out of his grimy pocket.  He professes that he was just as surprised as I was when he found it in his pocket.  Very strange.

*  The next day was Easter.  I'm not all that big into holidays.  It's just too much stress.  Not to mention, the whole pagan/religious tradition debate.  It's kinda complicated.  Suffice it to say I'm very happy to make the most of every chance I get to eat a nice dinner without the guilt if I don't make up baskets or hide eggs.  We also try to dress in our best clothes on Resurrection Sunday.  It just seems to be the right thing to do.  So, I track down all the boys dress shoes, dress socks, clip on ties, and dry clean only suits.  I rise a whole hour earlier.  We spit and polish and spritz with Daddy's cologne.  Ten minutes before time to leave I hear someone ask, "Where's Alvin?"  That always strikes terror into my heart.  Good grief!  Where is Alvin?  The door opens and in creeps a very gray and grizzled little waif.  He must have gotten Easter confused with Ash Wednesday.  He is covered in ashes.  From the crown of his dusty blonde head to the sole of his scuffed smokey dress shoes.  He smells like a burnt marshmallow.  He had been selflessly stoking the smoldering brush pile that we had burned the night before.  I don't know what we would have done if that brush pile had burnt out.  Maybe made it to church on time or something terrible like that.  He was the only kid in church that day wearing jeans and spider man tennis shoes.

And I never dry clean little boys suits.  I wash them.  Don't tell anyone.

*  Monday we took Ana for her two month vaccinations.  Boy, that's tough.  I have friends that refuse to vaccinate and friends that diligently get their flu shots.  I know a couple who trace their son's autism to his shots and others who have chapter and verse to prove that can't possibly happen.  Deciding where I stand on the issue has been one of the most difficult choices of my motherhood career.  Right up there with circumcision.  Blech!  I found Cynthia Copeland's tongue in cheek take on it in her book, The Diaper Diaries sums it up pretty well:

"The doctor then says he will give the baby immunizations today that he refers to by Star Wars kinds of names:DTaP, IPV, Hib, Hep-B4, and PCV7.
  He gives you one minute and 13 seconds to read 27 pages of information about everything that has ever gone wrong after a baby has been given a shot.
  Then he warns you that common reactions to the vaccine range from excessive crankiness (which you're thinking you probably wouldn't notice) to excessive sleepiness (which you're kind of hoping for).
  He allows you 24 seconds to read another stack of papers that say, essentially:  "This shot could prevent some horrible disease in the future or cause one.  The baby could die from this shot in five minutes or sometime next week.  She may have seizures, convulsions, and brain damage-----or not.
Sign here."

Exactly.   

But, we got it over with.  The boys all cringed together in the corner and covered their ears.  Ana held a grudge against me for the next two days.

*  Tuesday was my turn to go to the doctor.  I've been having flashes of light in my peripheral vision.  I'm at a higher risk for retinal detachment, so we've been keeping a close eye on the situation.  (That was a pun. Eye get it! Oops, there's another one.  Somebody stop me)

*  Tuesday afternoon, Cy broke out into hives the size of dinner plates.  Took him to the doctor on Wednesday.

*  By Thursday I had to take the entire day off of school just to get the laundry done.  Sad.

*  The good news is that my darling honey bunch bought me a nifty new phone!  As soon as Betsy and I get acquainted I hope to start posting pictures on this here blog.

*  Let's see, what else happened this week.  Oh yeah, on Friday we did school, picked up the church van, picked up two sets of friends, went to McDonalds, then Bounce U, then McDonalds again, then took both sets of friends home, then returned the church van, then returned the diaper bag I had inadvertently absconded with, then fixed some outrageously good/Pioneer Woman Pork Chops With Apples and Creamy Bacon Cheese Grits.  And we watched It's A Wonderful Life.

 Just a normal, wonderful day.

By God's Grace, just a normal, wonderful week.