(As Miss Elle would say)
Goodbye Baby Moon . . . Hello Baby Blues!
Today has been a hide-in-the-corner-of-the-closet-behind-the-long-dresses sort of day.
We've all had days like that before.
Maybe I'm just good at finding boss hidey holes . . .
It was the plumbing that pushed me over the edge. The kitchen sink was hopelessly clogged. And the water pressure was about half what it should be, suggestive of a busted pipe. The plumber was due in 30 minutes and I hadn't had my coffee. The bad weather and sick children were closing in on me. Of course, not sleeping well and plummeting hormones always contribute to the fun. And doggone, if Robert isn't trying to lift my spirits by giving me soggy smooches! It's more than a bedraggled, spit up encrusted, smushy midriff-ed, oily faced, death breathed, desperate housewife can bear!
After the plumbing issues were resolved. And my wonderful, loving and sensitive husband had left for work (He really has been fantastic. Usually his attempts to make me laugh are quite effective.) And the starving Visigoths were fed. I was still crying. And quite put out with myself over it, too.
I called my mom. And I texted Sherry. Mom was so encouraging and momma-ing. It was great to hear love and good sense.
Then I got Sherry's text. And totally cracked up!
Among the other wise and helpful things she said, she reminded me in all caps, "DON'T FORGET, YOU ARE POST PARDON!!!" Gotta love spell check!
But she couldn't have been more right. No matter how low I'm feeling, I'm on the other side of Calvary. Just like history is dated Before Christ and Anno Domini, so my life should be dated Before Pardoning Grace and After Pardoning Grace. There is no condemnation! Even if I hide in the closet instead of fixing breakfast. Even if I scare small toddlers . Even when I am my harshest critic. I am Post Pardon and nothing will ever be the same again.
And that is a really good thing.
Immediately on the heels of that text I got a phone call from the pastor. What a blessing! Almost made up for all the church I've missed in the last 3 weeks. He encouraged me to read 1 Peter 1:5-9
"And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue;
and to virtue knowledge;
And to knowledge temperance;
and to temperance patience;
and to patience godliness;
And to godliness brotherly kindness;
and to brotherly kindness charity.
For if these things be in you and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins."
Sometimes I forget how awesome and complete my redemption is and start trying to be Superwoman. I don't let others know that I'm hurting or needy. I would rather be the one busy, fixing everyone else up. Delivering the meals, not accepting them. Handing out encouraging words, not humbly admitting that I'm discouraged and in need of some verses of hope. Maybe trying to fix myself up as perfect. A short cut to sanctification, perhaps?
God is at work, building us up, step by step. The blueprint is right there: faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance (not going hog wild! this is where I'm stuck, methinks) patience, (makes sense, if I'm pushing myself and others beyond the limits of what is necessary, I'm not going to be very patient), godliness, brotherly kindness, charity (when I'm not temperate or patient, kindness and love go right out the window) This is the path to fruitfulness and peace.
Otherwise I become what I mistakenly typed out in my text to Sherry: a casket case.*
Oh and it helps to remember . . . I AM POSTPARTUM (AND PARDON) AFTER ALL!
*missed the b for basket!