Monday, July 29, 2013

Katie, Bar The Door!

Fear.  Trust.  Sovereignty of God.  Responsibility of man.

These have been the themes of my devotions, the past few days.

This year I am reading out of a Daily Bible.  The selections are arranged so that I will have read the Bible through in a year.  I am currently reading out of Nehemiah, Acts, Psalms and Proverbs.  And it's amazing how certain verses have been leaping out and grabbing me by the throat!  I love it when God does that  :-)

The first verse is Neh. 6:13  I prefer the King James Version, but the first time I read this verse it was in NAS and it spoke to me.  So I'll leave this one in NAS, but usually you can count on good ol' KJV to be the standard here.

"13 He was hired for this reason, that I might become frightened and act accordingly and sin, so that they might have an evil report in order that they could reproach me."

What got me was the "that I might become frightened and act accordingly and sin" part.  Fearful actions often lead to sinful actions.  Being scared out of my skull is a terrible testimony!  "Fear thou not for I am with thee, be not dismayed, for I am thy God" Isaiah 41:10

Sounds like a command to me.  A command and a promise.  "I will be with thee, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

I am battling a lot of fear and mistrust right now.  How do I know that my doctor knows what's best?  What if he slept through that class on B-Lynch sutures?   (hyperbole to prove my desperation, I know he is perfectly competent.  I think.  Just kidding.  Maybe.)

What is really going on here is that I don't want to let go of the control that I like to fantasize about having.  But, then again, God went to a lot of trouble to give me some brains.  I think He expects me to use them periodically.  

That is where Proverbs 21:31 comes in.

31 The horse is prepared against the day of battle: but safety is of the Lord.

If you have a horse and don't get him ready for the fight, you deserve to lose.  But safety is of the Lord.  Not by might, nor by strength, but by the Lord's Spirit, comes the victory.  Even yet, Biblical examples command us to gather up pots, seek out faithful men, gird on your sword while building the walls, get on a ship, let down the nets, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, hold up your hands and pray.  

Basically, there is no telling what God might do and what means He might use to supernaturally bless or prosaically supply.  

Trust God and take your vitamins.
Trust God and buckle your seat belt.
Trust God and refrain from eating the yellow snow.

I like to learn about obstetrics.  It's a weird little obsession of mine.  Maybe someday it will become a cool ministry, like if I could serve a crisis pregnancy center as a doula.  For the present, it can facilitate greater communication between me and my doctor.  I am familiar with options and procedures and best case scenarios and worst case scenarios.  And that gives me a measure of peace.
But none of it is going to protect me or keep me from hemorrhaging, eclampsia, a fatally deformed baby or anything else that I can't even imagine.  That is God's business.  And that's the way it should be.

Trust God, and find a good doctor.  Check.  Time to go relax