Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Cy's Birth Story (finally, it's not all about me anymore!, part3)

Third times the charm.
 I seriously doubted it. 

 I was happy to be pregnant again, but filled with dread and apprehension.  Maybe I was going to be one of those women who could never have children.  I had began reading about fertility and pregnancy loss.  I knew one more miscarriage would make me a “habitual aborter”.  A terrible appellation.  But necessary to get a doctor to take me seriously and start testing.  So, I was ready to get this loss out of the way and move on to finding answers.  I had a new OB.  Dr S. had a problem with the anesthesiologist at Texas County Memorial.  He felt it was unsafe to practice there, so he moved his practice elsewhere.  If it wasn’t safe enough for him, it sure wasn’t safe enough for me!  So I started looking.  In No Man’s Land, it’s slim pickin’s.  I could go north, to Liberal KS.  Or south to Perryton TX.  Or ninety miles east to Woodward.  I’m a “Sooner, born and bred” and by golly gum, no child of mine was going to be born in Texas if I had anything to say about it!  So, Doctor H. of Woodward was an easy choice.  I fell in love with him right away.  He was very young, just starting out taking over his dad’s practice.  He made me feel like I was his favorite patient.   He had a tragic story.  His  wife had just died from breast cancer, leaving him with three young children.  I felt very sorry for him.  You could see he was hurting.  I still pray for him from time to time.  He was an excellent doctor.  If I had any questions he couldn’t answer he would say “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.”  And he would.  He was never rushed.  In hindsight I find that quite remarkable.  But, this was  Woodward after all.  Maybe the pace was naturally slower. Maybe it was because we were often the last appointment of the day.  I just know I really appreciated the time.  I felt like I knew him.  And I trusted him.  My husband did too.  He was able to accompany me to most of my visits and I think that made all the difference in the world.  Dr H. and Robert got along real well.  I think Robert felt like he had entrusted his wife to a friend.  Not just some guy with forceps.  The pregnancy progressed well.  I had a vigorous little boy growing inside me.  I was so happy, I was bouncing off the walls!  At five months we went camping at Black Mesa.  Pregnancy didn’t slow me down one bit.  I was glowin’ and goin’! 

 I was also learning.   I love to read.  So I read everything I could find about pregnancy and birth.  Eventually my reading turned more to natural birth.  Homebirth was nowhere on my radar.  But natural birth, it made so much sense!  My mother had 6 children naturally.  So I had a good role model.  From what I was reading (mostly activist books from the 70’s and 80’s, we had a rather obsolete library)  it was going to be a struggle to convince the doctor not to cut an episiotomy, or force me to labor and push on my back , or to not be shaved and prepped etc…  I was very glad to learn, after visiting with my doctor, that nearly everything in those books are no longer routinely practiced.  Birth is such a more comfortable and family friendly experience these days.  I also learned to check the publication date.  If the book is older than me, I probably shouldn’t waste my time reading it.  Rob and I went to a birthing class.  I watched a LaMaze video and read two Bradley books.  I was adamant that nothing and I meant nothing would convince me to be induced.  I had heard my mother’s stories about how her first labor was the most difficult because she allowed herself to be induced so her doctor could leave the country.  That was not going to be me!  Then my husband accepted a new job in Miami, OK.  I was due and we were going to move in less than 2 weeks.  I very quickly decided that being induced was preferable to giving birth in a U-Haul. 

 I still think that I made the right decision.  But I wonder if my labor would have been any easier if it had started naturally.  I labored without any medication for 11 hours.  As the back labor increased I became afraid that I would lose control and make a perfect idiot of myself. A cursing, screaming, slobbering idiot.  So I went with the epidural after all.  11 hours later I was ready to push.  It seems like the numbness had worn off by then.  I could feel everything pretty well.  I was so focused on pushing.  It seemed like only 30 minutes, maybe an hour had gone by.  Someone mentioned forceps.  Which I did not take well.  Hadn’t my books warned me about forceps?  Then mom told me I had been pushing for three hours and if we didn’t use forceps that I might need a c section.  So, forceps it must be.  And a 8lb5oz butterball named...

Time out!! Some of the blogs I read use pseudonyms and some of them don't.  For now I will change the names slightly.  If you know my family, you'll know who I am talking about... 

Cy was born.  On his due date.  And, I must say, Doctor H. was very skilled with the forceps.  When we moved, 12 days later, I stopped by his office on our way through town to say goodbye.  I was very sad to leave his practice.  He was my first real OB and I will always have very fond memories of him.